Love and Leadership

We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love each other. Anyone who does not love remains in death…

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.

If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?

Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.

1 John 3:14,16-18 (NIV)

True, unadulterated leadership is an act of love, the goal of which is to lead others along a path where they can grow emotionally and spiritually. Martin Luther King, Jr., directly applied Jesus’ teachings to leadership when he said, “Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love.”

While there are many things that can stand in the way of us truly having and acting upon love, many argue that indifference is the primary antithesis to love. Consequently, I will focus primarily on the contrast between indifference and love in this article.

Love and Indifference

According to Eli Wiesel, who survived imprisonment in both Auschwitz and Buchenwald during World War II, “The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference.”

Indifference may lead us to be oblivious to the true feelings of our customers, peers, and employees or the impact that our actions and the actions of our organizations have upon society. If I am indifferent to others, I may be able to influence others through some means such as rewards or finely crafted speeches. However, in the end, the positive impact that we have upon others and upon society is likely to be greater if we are driven by love.

Love and Leadership

When the Pharisees, who were the religious leaders of his day, asked Jesus, “What is the greatest commandment?” He replied, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these commandments. (Matthew 22:36-40, NIV).” As God’s love grows within, it reaches a point where this love must flow to others. If I do not love God nor know His love, then what love can I have for others?

I recall my own inability to love during my adolescence and early adulthood, when I believed that nothing really mattered. Though I cared about my friends and often preferred their company over being alone, I did not have much energy to truly care about their needs. Though I did not recognize it at the time, I was indifferent to the wants and needs of those whom I “loved.” My nearly 30-year journey to truly love and be loved by God love and to love others with true love is far from perfect, as I imagine my family and others in my life could attest to; however, I continually strive to grow in this area.

To lead with love is to seek to understand others and to help guide them to their full potential to be who they are created to be or, at the very least, to not impede their journey. As Thomas Merton writes: “The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image. If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them.” No Man is an Island.

Showing love can begin by simply letting people know through our facial intonations, words, and other nonverbal gestures that we appreciate their presence. It is also shown by having and showing interest in the lives and needs of those whom we work with, live with, and come into contact with in other spheres in our lives. As I mentioned earlier, this is much easier and will be much more genuine if we have an inner state of love. In our communities, we can manifest our love through service. In the workplace, we manifest this love by showing appreciation to others for specific actions that they do correctly.

Love also requires our time. Most of us can tell when someone in our personal or work lives is struggling with something personal or with something in their job. If someone seems down, we can ask them if everything is ok. If it is something personal, we may be able to accommodate them or, if we can’t accommodate them, we at least show that they matter to us. We may also learn that there is some struggle they are encountering with their tasks or a co-worker that merits our attention. When we show them our love through our being and our actions, we not only lighten their load emotionally, but we may physically lighten their load by taking away some of the frustrations they encounter in their jobs.

We may choose to overlook a minor, nonrecurring, mistake that doesn’t lead to any adverse impact. On the other hand, if there is a pattern or if the mistake can lead to harm, love requires the courage to tactfully share with them the mistake and the impact this may have on others if they do not work to correct it in the future.

Love empowers us to work with our peers, employees, and leaders so that we all continue to grow as people and professionals. Perhaps more importantly, love also leads us to be aware of and seek to attend to the needs of the marginalized in both our communities and the world. Only when we attain this level of love inwardly and manifest it to others, do we truly lead with love.